The Ghost of You
by JesSickUh
Summary: I don't want stupid Prada and Gucci shoes. I want these shoes.


Pairing: Shayid, but Boone makes an appearance  
Warnings: Spoilers for Abandoned, and set after Collision  
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the television show "Lost". They were created by JJ Abrams and Damon Lindelof and they belong to them, Touchstone, and ABC. I also do not own Sayid because sadly for me, he's Shannon's man. Awww!

Shannon stretched languidly from her spot on the tent floor. Smiling, she rolled over to find that the spot Sayid had occupied last night was cold and empty. It didn't surprise her that he was already up. Getting up, she started to make the bed. He'd always been an early riser, even before they started a relationship. She stopped folding her blanket to laugh at her unintentional joke. True, she wouldn't have minded waking up in his arms, but she knew he always liked to get an early start on the day. She had no intention of interrupting his routine or changing him in any way. After all, he had never tried to change her.He always managed to bring out the best in her, and she would always be grateful to him for that. Besides, they could always steal away and for quality cuddling time later."

Grabbing her favorite pink shawl, she started out of the tent and stumbled over something. It was the box with the shoes Sayid had given her. She was about to close the lid on it when she noticed that the picture of her and Boone was wedged between the shoes. "She could've sworn she left those inside her suitcase. Shrugging, she walked out of the tent and almost collided with Jack.

"Hey, Jack!" she said. "Have you seen Sayid?" Jack looked straight ahead and walked on as if he didn't hear her. "Whoa…rude much?" He ignored her and kept going. "Just 'cause you're not getting any, it's no reason to be rude," she mumbled. "Geez!" At that, he broke of into a jog. "Well now…I guess I hit a nerve." Laughing softly to herself, she continued on her journey, images of the night before, still fresh in her mind.

Sayid had been so gentle with her. So patient and romantic and…real. Thinking back to all the times other men tried to seduce her, she couldn't remember a single time when she knew she wasn't being used and vice versa. After Sabrina had cut her off, her sole purpose with any man had been to take his money and anything else he'd offer her. Sayid was a first for her in many ways, but despite what they had shared last night, most importantly, he was her first _real _friend in a long time.

She had been in love only once before, and those feelings hadn't been reciprocated. At the same time, she also knew what it was like on the other side of the fence. She knew that Boone had genuinely been in love with her as well, and she knew that the fact that she was his stepsister aside, it hurt to not have someone you loved, feel the same way. But she had never once in her life, loved and been _in _love with someone who returned those feelings wholeheartedly and without any strings attached. Not until Sayid came along.

The bright sun broke Shannon from her reverie and she saw that she had reached the beach. She was greeted with the early morning (or mid-morning, in her case) sounds of the camp. Sun and to her surprise, Jin were seated away from everybody else and feeding each other fruit. _What is Jin doing here, _she thoughtAt another area, Rose and a man she'd never seen before were taking clothes down from the makeshift clothesline. But what warmed her heart, and broke it at the same time was seeing Michael down by the water, playing fetch with Vincent. She wanted to tell him about Walt right away, but she didn't know how to breach the subject with him. The old Shannon would have said _"Hey Michael, guess what, your kid's been playing peek-a-boo with me in the jungle_." Realizing now was not the time for snark, she decided to go with the direct approach. Suddenly, Vincent's head shot up as if he sensed her, even though she was a long ways away from the shoreline. He began to bark and started running in her direction. Shannon braced herself for his usual sloppy greetings, but to her surprise, he stopped right in front of her, and kept on barking.

"Hey dog, what's gotten into you? Come here. She reached to scratch behind his ears, but Vincent backed away. Aw what's the matter? My bedhead isn't _that _bad, is it? Well you can thank Sayid for that. That is, if you can help me find him. You up to it, dog?"

"Hey Vincent, come on, let's go," Michael said, as he reached them. Shannon became instantly uncomfortable, but she knew she had to say something before she lost her nerve.

"Umm…Michael, about--"

Michael tugged hard on Vincent's leash, leading him away from Shannon. "Hey, I know I'm no Dr. Dolittle, but you have to admit, I took damn good care of the dog!" Michael kept tugging a reluctant Vincent back to the shoreline.

"Okay…is it Ignore Shannon Day and nobody told me?"

She decided to walk over to Sun and Jin, just to say hello. Sun was always friendly, and Shannon had been enjoying the daily walks they shared ever since the raft left. Although, she realized with Jin back, Sun wouldn't be doing much walking anymore. At least not with her. She was sure the woman would rather spend every waking moment with her husband. She walked up to the tail end of a conversation between the two. They were talking in Korean, but she recognized one word that came from Jin's mouth. It was her name. She could clearly hear what was being said, as she got closer to them.

"Oh Shannon" Sun said. She buried her head in the crook of Jin's neck, and he held her closely.

"Sun…Sun…why are you crying," Shannon asked the woman in front of her. She didn't get a reply.

What the hell was going on? Maybe they'd all found out about her most recent hallucinations, and now were all convinced she was a nut job. That would explain everyone ignoring her. But why would that make Sun cry?

"Hey Shan,"

She froze. Even if she hadn't recognized the voice, (and she would know that voice anywhere), there was only one person who ever called her "Shan." Turning around slowly, her suspicions were confirmed when she came face to face with Boone.

"Boone?"

"That's my name, Princess. Don't wear it out."

Feigning annoyance, to mask her shock, she replied, "What are you eleven? Even Walt didn't say dorky things like that."

She turned around and started walking away. Maybe she really was going crazy. Her dead brother stood right there  
in his favorite Urban Hymns t-shirt and ugly jeans he insisted on wearing.

She must not have been paying attention to how far she'd been walking because after passing through a clearing, she found Sayid. He was furiously hacking away at some logs. Relief flowed through her at finally being able to find him.

"Sayid! I've been looking all over for you."

He kept working, not sparing her a glance.

"Sayid? Hello! Ready for a break?"

Still nothing. This was odd. Usually he could sense her presence without her even making a sound. She tried another tactic.

"Hey…sweetcheeks...honeybunch...cutie pie! Wanna make out?"

Nope. Nothing. She was sure that calling him those cutesy nicknames would catch him off guard. At the very least, she thought she would get a reaction to the making out part. At least long enough for him to acknowledge her.

That was it. She was not going to stand by and let him ignore her like a cheap, one-night stand.

Though indignant, she was also filled with a sense of dread that had nothing to do with a potential squabble with her lover. Walking over to him, she put her hand on his shoulder and recoiled sharply as another suspicion was confirmed. Her hand phased through his shoulder as if it was merely passing through thin air. _She couldn't touch him._

"Same thing happened to me," Boone's voice said behind her.

"What?" She turned around and found him leaning casually against a tree.

He shifted from his position and looked at the jungle floor uneasily. "The day after…the day after it happened, I went to see if you were sleeping in again as usual. Imagine my surprise when not only were you already up, but I found you sitting on the beach, just staring at the waves. At first I thought you were just channeling Kate, but then I moved to touch your shoulder and…nothing."

"What are you doing here?" Shannon asked, not letting him see that his little anecdote affected her in any way.

"I came to take you home," he said, walking over to where she was standing and holding his hand out for her to take.

Something was wrong. Very wrong. What the hell was he talking about? She _had_ no home. Striving for composure, she squared her shoulders and turned away from him. "This _is _home," she said, waving her hand over the place. Suddenly, as if transported, she was back in her tent. Only it wasn't just her tent anymore. It had been expanded and now had two sections to it. One section was the tent that Sayid had lovingly prepared for her, but as she continued to explore, she saw that the expansion led to a replica of Sayid's tent on the beach. The transceiver, maps, and pencils lay haphazardly on the table, just as they had before when they had started the whole translating business.

Her thoughts drifted again to the man outside. _Her_ man. Like the ongoing images of a filmstrip, her short-lived memories of time spent with him started playing a movie in her mind.

Sayid asking for her help on the beach.

Sayid shyly averting his gaze as she sat up, covering herself with the shawl.

Sayid gazing at her as she translated the maps.

Sayid looking mesmerized as she sang to him.

The feel of his lips on her during their kisses, and his confession that he had hopes, not expectations

Sayid helping her with her luggage and saying he'd help carry it so that it wouldn't be too much.

Sayid gratefully accepting her welcome embrace when he and Charlie brought Aaron back safely

And the last memory…Said saying he believed her. He would never leave her.

Sayid, saying he _loved_ her.

At that, she realized why Boone was really there, and she finally broke.

Boone appeared as if out of nowhere and walked over to her.

"Time to go Shan, a world of Gucci and Louis Vuitton awaits you."

"No," she said defiantly, letting traces of the old, petulant Shannon creep into her voice.

"Aw, come on. Purses and earrings, and shoes, oh my! It's your dream come true. All free. Won't cost you a dime."

"My dream? Free? No Boone. It came with a price. A heavy one. I'm _not _going anywhere! "That," she said walking outside and pointing to Sayid," that _is_ my dream. And it came true. And I loved--. She gasped. "Oh no! Oh, no, no!"

"What?" Boone asked, frowning.

"I didn't say it back, Boone. I never said it back. He doesn't _know_!" Her knees gave out and she crumpled to the jungle floor.

"Hey now…come on there'll be none of that. Dry your eyes…hey…what do you know, he said giving her a playful smirk, your mascara doesn't run in the afterlife.

Shannon wasn't moved by his attempt at humor.

Instead her voice took on an icy tone. "I don't' want any of it. I don't want stupid Prada and Gucci shoes. I want _these_ shoes," she said, holding up the ones Sayid gave her. Not stopping for a breath, she went on. "And I don't want big fluffy Ralph Lauren pillows and comforters. I want scratchy airline blankets and pillows that are barely the same size as my head. I don't want smooth-chested, blonde All-American Abercrombie and Fitch model boyfriends who look like they could be my fraternal twin. I may look like a life-sized Malibu Barbie, but that doesn't mean I want a Ken to match. I want a curly haired Iraqi who-"

"Whoa, whoa, Shan, I get it. Just…please stop before you mention Sayid and his hairy chest." He grimaced as soon as the words were out of his mouth. Shannon only glared, but her scowl morphed into a pained look.

"He doesn't know, Boone. I never got a chance to tell him."

The events of the night before flooded back in her mind again. Only this time, they weren't the same tender memories she had earlier of her time with Sayid. This time she saw Jin, Michael, and the man Rose was with earlier, along with some others she didn't recognize. Seeing them at the beach before hadn't shocked her as much as it should have because she was always used to seeing them on the island. Then when the raft left, she spent as much time as possible with Sayid, so it wasn't like she actually missed their presence. She remembered the horror on Jin and Michael's face now. She saw a woman holding a gun. A gun that was aimed at her. She remembered feeling like the wind getting knocked out of her. Shannon gulped at the memory of her throat constricting as she realized she wouldn't make it. She had tried to talk before it was too late, but it was futile. Her last true memory of Sayid's face was the horrified expression as he realized that she was gone.

"Oh Sayid," she said more to herself, than to Boone who was off to the side, trying to give her space. "I should've told you sooner. There was no reason to wait. Your weren't like other guys. I would've meant the words with you."

She was crying now. Turning to her brother, she tried to explain herself. "He loved me Boone. He…he really loved me. I know…I know I didn't deserve it, but I reveled in it anyway."

"Sure you did, Princess. He knew it. Hell, even _I_ knew it. That's what matters."

"I don't wanna go. I can't just leave him. I can't. He changed me in so many ways Boone, but there's a part of the old me that's still there. And that part is screaming and pushing and _fighting _to be selfish and telling me to stay and never leave."

"Shannon." He sighed. He looked like he was at a loss of what to do.

"We _have _to go. The big guy upstairs is waiting."

"Oh yeah? Well I'm mad at him!" She began to stomp off into the jungle.

"Eh, he's used to it. Not a lot of people are really ever ready to go. Hey, what are you doing?"

Shannon ran back to where Sayid was.

"Shan-non! You're not gonna carve your names in that tree and scare the bejeezus out of him, are you?"

"Hell no! If anyone deserved to get their ass haunted, it's that bitch who pulled the trigger. I just…want to say goodbye."

She walked up to Sayid, who was now slumped in front of a tree stump and staring into space. Shannon crouched down in front of Sayid, and took one last loving look at him. "I love you," she whispered. Her breath caught in her throat when he touched his lips with his fingers. She knew then that he was remembering the last kiss they shared.

"Ready?" Boone was standing at a respectable distance, waiting for her.

"I'll never be ready…but I know I have to go." She blew a kiss at Sayid, and got up to follow her brother.

"Ladies first."

"Still ever the chivalrous one, aren't you?" She looked around the expanse of the jungle for the last time.

"What, just because I'm dead, doesn't mean I have to turn into some incarnation of Sawyer."

She smiled, realizing that she'd actually miss the redneck. If anything, "Sticks" was a much better nickname than "Barbie," or "Blondie" and _definitely _better than good ol' "useless bitch."

"You know…Sawyer's really not that bad. I wonder why I didn't see him on the beach. Unless he's with Kate, and that would defintitely explain Jack's sour mood."

"Who knows," Boone said cryptically. "Hey, I saw Sayid holding that picture of us once. If he ripped it and only kept your half of the picture, I wouldn't be offended."

"When did you see this?"

"Last night."

"Last night?" You knew I was a goner since last night, and you only appear to me now?

"I wanted to give you some time to…adjust."

"Uh huh. Sure you did. Oh and by the way, my _half _of the picture? Oh please, that eyebrow of yours took up more than half of the picture, Boone"

"Hey, no eyebrow jokes in heaven, Princess." He let Shannon walk ahead and took one last look at Sayid.

"He knows, Shannon," he said to himself. He knows.

_**The End**_


End file.
